Johnson and His Lazers

There

was a boy named Johnson."
"johnson wasn't "normal"
"He had the habit of grabbing sharp objects and staring at them for hours."
"and due to that he has several eye surgeryies"
"These eye surgeries weren't your usual eye surgeries"
"these were special, but how you might ask?"
"They were done through his ass."
"Because of these 'special' eye surgeries, Johnson could see things other people couldn't."
"johnson could see the future, h could see how people died"
"He was the cause of most of them."
"This wasn't a surprise, considering how his eyes were now connected to his ass."
"The frustration of not being able to see made him angry."
"so he pushed sallyoff a cliff"
"So, one day, he left for a deserted island."
"He hovered there using his ass lasers".
"He killed lots of fish along the way"
"He eventually reached the island using his ass lasers."
"Finally, he made it to the island, at the cost of his arms."
"Waddling on the island ass-first, he stumbled upon a cave."
"The cave was surprised at Johnson's butt-lasers."
"The people of the cave worshiped Johnson and his ass-lasers."
"Eventually, johnson died of starvation, having not fed his hungry orifice in days."

This story was created by the bored denizens of the CPW Chat.